Typically, I'm not at a loss for words, even when it comes to expressing my condolences when someone dies. After losing my mom when I was in college, and having been a nurse for 25 years, I know how important it can be to personally and empathetically acknowledge someone's loss.

But when a colleague's mom died four weeks after she had buried her dad, I was so stunned and saddened that the best I could muster was, "I'm really so very, very sorry." Though we both had known that her mom's diagnosis would be terminal, we both expected mom's tenacity and resolve to carry her into next year despite the loss of her partner of 65 years.

It got me thinking about bereavement benefits and how important they can be to someone who is grieving. My colleague is working as an independent consultant so her income is directly related to her working billable hours. Still, her agency, she said, was very supportive.

Though she is one of the senior principals and involved with many client projects, she was told to take as much time as she needed. "Problem was," she told me, "I didn't really know how much time that would be."

While her agency was willing to accommodate her needs, few employees have that kind of luxury nor are they offered paid leave when a death occurs.

According to a 2007 study by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 69% of employees in the private sector get paid funeral leave. Among companies with 100 employees or more, the number rises to 81%, while only 57% of small businesses with workforces of under 100 provide funeral leave.

When bereavement leave is offered, it commonly is only two to three days of paid time. Sometimes that time is reduced to one day if the death is someone like a grandparent or an uncle/aunt. If the employee needs to travel to attend a funeral, that may not be enough time.

Having coordinated the funerals of my father and my aunt within the last two years, I can assure you that it takes more than three days - even with the support of five older siblings! And having experienced my own grief with other losses, I can also assure you that you don't just pop back to work ready to go.

With an aging workforce, issues related to grief in the workplace are expected to become even more critical in the next few years, increasing the likelihood of a large number of workers losing a parent, grandparent or even spouse.

Russell Friedman, author of "The Grief Recovery Handbook" and executive director of the Grief Recovery Institute (www.grief.net), has been interviewed for and written numerous articles and counseled thousands of people dealing with loss.

He believes that employees need time to grieve the loss because they won't be as productive right after the death of someone close. Grief is not something you can turn on and off. "When your heart is broken, your head doesn't work right," he says.

Friedman's group estimates it costs U.S. businesses more than $100 billion annually because of absenteeism, mistakes and low productivity due to the impact of grief in the workplace.

Compare that with the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality's recent estimate that in 2008, U.S. hospitals spent $83 billion caring for people with diabetes. Given the basic financial comparison, it seems short-sighted to pay such little attention to the impact of grief.

As it stands now, the Family and Medical Leave Act, which allows for up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave per year, does not include bereavement leave.

And, according to the Department of Labor, funeral leave is a benefit that is a matter of agreement between the employer and an employee. The Fair Labor Standards Act does not require payment for time not worked, including attending a funeral.

Each religion and culture offers its own unique traditions and rites for funerals and mourning; however, what is universal is that employees - regardless of their beliefs - need time and space to grieve. Employees want to know that their managers understand what they're going through.

It should come as no surprise that those employees who feel support from their co-workers and managers are often better able to cope with the loss than those who feel no support.

As the person responsible for human resources, your responsibilities are diverse and numerous. But one of your most important responsibilities just might be acknowledging an employee's loss. Consider sending a personal condolence note or a more official sympathy letter as a formal acknowledgment of support.

If the timing makes it possible, someone from management should make a point to attend any memorial, wake or funeral service. At the very least, make it a point to offer your condolences again the next time you see the employee back at work. It might be the best retention policy you have.

Follow EBN on: Twitter | Facebook | LinkedIn | Podcasts